The Beginning of P.U.B.

     "Welcome to R.T.N. (random things news) and I'm your host, Jerry Seinfeld. Today we have a special guest,Simon!we're sure that you'd love to see him, but since we're on a podcast, I'll have to describe him for you. He's got a red scratchy beard, has a little more mass then necessary, *wink wink*" "hey!" loves superman shirts,and is currently wearing a viking hat. So Simon,would you please tell us the TRUE story of P.U.B? "Yea sure." *clear throat*
     "I will wait a moment to make sure that you are all sitting comfortably.......now assuming that you all are well-seated, let me begin. Our story begins at Harfield University, my college. My inner (and outer) geek was breaking under the pressure of the science fair because this year the prize was special! The teachers were set in stone on not telling us the story behind the prize, but with a few well-placed students the whole college was crammed with rumors about who it could be.
     The story is that one day a couple of troublemakers thought it would be a good idea to make a water stand for a bunch of money. Perfectly fine, right? Not when you hear that one of the things the school prided itself on was free drinking water! Their plan was to break the pipes then get the water from the pipes, into their dorms to sell. !$Ka-Ching$!
     The problem that got them caught was the pipes were very noisy,so that by the time they had the pipes up to floor 3 (there were 20) the patrol found them. One cop said that they were so noisy that he was shocked that they smuggled the pipes to their dorms. This was so big the whole school council had to have a meeting about it. They decided that (after much fighting) they should double-plate all the pipes. Midway through they found some radium which was the science fair prize! But meanwhile,i had finally finished P.U.B.
     For those of you who do not know what P.U.B. is, make it my honor to tell you about the legendary machine. This machine is the only one that can send you into parallel universes! For example, if you wanted a world with eggs on everybody head, this is your machine. *pause for laughter* the problem is that it needs radium. So you could probably guess how excited I was when I heard what the science fair prize was *squeal*!
     So, there I was at the science fair wearing my measly plaid shirt and pants,thinking I should have worn something else. After quite some time, the judges finally came to my station. Trying to calm myself down, I said “they saved the best for last.” I came up to the old judge and said “c-can i have the radium.” ”yes”was his cranky response. I took the radium, put it the machine,and with the scuttle of feet as we entered the machine, we started the journey!

The End

--Luke Demeter-Willison